That’s the sound your skin makes as it peels off of your leather sofa in this hot, humid, unbearable heat. Dear god, why can’t it just be mild? 20 degrees, that is my perfect temperature. Not hot, warm. But no, it’s gotta be 30, sometimes 40. That’s just not natural! This is Canada we’re talking about, we don’t have all those silly igloo stereotypes for nothing!
While I can handle (okay, tolerate) being all gross and sweaty, I just feel so bad for my animals. All three cats are long-haired, and Chewy is a frickin’ Malamute. I give them cold water from the fridge and put ice cubes in it, but I can’t really do any more than that and it makes me feel like a jerk. I can hose Chewy off, but could you imagine trying to hose off a cat? Not bloody likely.
The longer this heat goes on (we’re sitting at nearly 4 straight weeks of it), the more I worry about global warming. I haven’t lived on Vancouver Island my whole life, but I have been coming here on a regular basis since I was a baby. Summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, I’ve done every season of Island weather my entire life, and it has never been like this. Never. This just isn’t our natural climate, we’re a fucking rainforest. A northern rainforest. Where’s the rain?
We’re heading for a tropical climate change it looks like. Maybe the scientists are wrong and it is just a naturally occuring event. I mean, the planet was tropical when the dinosaurs were alive, so perhaps there’ll be another ice age in a few thousand years. Maybe it’s Earth’s cycle. That still doesn’t make me worry any less. I’m not suited for tropical climates. Maybe I should move to the arctic… but oh wait! Our nothernmost territories are some of the hottest places in the country this summer. What the fuck?
The planet is going crazy.
